In Which I Attend An Evening Concert With Sufjan Stevens

Sadly, in spite of what the title insinuates, I did not actually attend a concert in the company of Sufjan Stevens; however, I did attend a concert last night featuring his music. As well as his self. 

Yes, the songs looked nice on him. (What? Am I the first person in the history of time who has heard "The Dress Looks Nice on You" who's thought of that?)

Okay, if you don't know who Sufjan Stevens is, he's this musician who writes and plays and records music that hipsters and myself enjoy. Usually if you see a photo of him, he is tenderly holding a banjo, like this: 

In Which I Cherish a Fondness for Central Market Stores...

In days of yore, when I lived in a more southern portion of Texas, I frequented an amazing grocery store called HEB, which cannot be found any further north than Stephenville, which is a two hour drive from myself. However, I have discovered an even better place to be amazed at, which is actually a branch of HEB, called Central Market.

In Which I Describe The Dream Which You Are Not Obligated To Read Unless You Wish...

 

So here's the dream from the previous post:  I was working in my garden (which I don't have in real life, of course) when I received a delivery by courier.

In Which I Have a Crisis of....Midlife? Faith? Midfaithlife?

So, last night I had this dream, which I will probably describe in a bit. No problem, I dream all the time, vividly, in color with lots of exciting twists and turns and stuff. I'm a dreamer for sure.

However, when I woke up, this dream caused me to start crying for some reason.  So I got out my little journal notebook & started pouring out all this crap I've been holding back and trying to pretend wasn't in my heart towards God. There were phrases like, "Where is MY promise?" and "Why is my life such a wreck, God?", "Why have I waited so long when others have had their promise fulfilled?", among other things.

The upshot of it all is that I discovered a deep, deep well of discontent, pain, and disappointment in me that I sort of realized was there, but have been ignoring and explaining away for an unknown amount of time, but possibly since I was 30... which comes from the fact that I have been waiting and waiting and waiting on a thing that the Lord has seemed to promise me (many times, with many confirmations, externally and internally) that has not been fulfilled yet. And on top of this specific promise not being fulfilled, the rest of my life sucks also. I know that's harsh, but it's really true right now. It's not that I've neglected the rest of my life waiting on this one thing, just that I'm not very good at making things happen. I'm not very driven or ambitious I guess.

I know about how things are not perfect in this life, and that every decision we make affects something else, and lots of other reasons that we use to explain away why something hasn't happened that we feel God has promised us, but in the end it boils down to hope deferred, making the heart sick.

And ultimately what it really boils down to for me, which anyone who knows me has already heard from me, is that I am beyond ready for a change. Not a new hairdo, a new camera, a new pair of jeans, or some new makeup, I'm ready for a life change. I'm tired of living this half-life, settling for half-fulfilled promises, I'm tired of day after week after month of mindless drudgery that is not building toward anything, and I'm tired of settling, period. I'm also through with pretending or hiding behind humor and a Facebook (!) facade of funny and witty posts... I'm beyond ready for real change. And I'm ready to do whatever it takes for change.

Does anyone else feel this way? Are there any promises that you've been waiting on for years?  Any advice? (if it is some Christian cliche, though, save it for the Twitter, because I might come through the computer and slap you upside the head. I have heard them ALL and am not in the mood for "all things come to those who wait," and "when you're not looking for it (him), it (he) will show up." Those are grounds for an angry river of bitter words coming at you, that's all I'm saying...)

Well that's all folks. I'm not in a very funny mood today unfortunately. The bright, witty posts will have to be another day...

Okay, one funny thing: while I was writing this, the spell-check thingy underlined Facebook as not a real word. That's so 2003.

In Which I Blog About Joaquin Phoenix

"Joaquin Phoenix"

Okay, so first of all, I've decided to title all my blog posts until further notice starting with the phrase "In Which," both in honor of The Victorian Age, In Which Everything was Elegant and Also Capitalized, and Sometimes Even Italicized, and also in honor of my favorite web comic, Wondermark. 

"B"*, for my first real blog (i.e., more current than two years ago!), I'm going to talk about Joaquin Phoenix. Now, I really love Jesus, and so by default probably a lot of my blogs will have an element of spirituality and hopefully sarcasm, (read the Bible. Those two go hand in hand like

In Which the Lord Spoke To Me Through Joel Osteen - January 2009

So. I was flipping through the channels this morning before church.


Which is NOT why I missed my 8:30 a.m. worship team practice call this morning, by the way. I was just running behind. Honest. The cold weather makes my car drive slowly!

Anyhow, flipping through the channels, and the Lakewood Whatchamacallit Church was on, and Mr. Joel Osteen was talking, and usually I have a hard time listening to him because his smile gets to me for some reason. It's too... something... Nothing against the man, just not my cup of latte, so much...

But, as I accidentally started listening, I realized

A new blog

So I decided to try blogging again. I am posting some old Myspace blogs from a couple (to four!) years ago, just the ones that I thought were awesome-est.


Hopefully I will be faithful to this and post regularly and interestingly and stuff, but we shall see. I sporadically love writing, but not in any traditional book-style way, so... here goes.


Well that is about it for now. Going to bed.

Where the Wild Things Are (from 2008)

So, here's something God's been putting on my heart lately:

I want to be a fore-runner.

Faith vs. Pneumonia Vaccines (2006)

Wow. So I wanted to do a funny blog about my pneumonia vaccine from somewhere in the vicinity of Gehenna, but... hey, why not? Okay, here's the story. I went to the doctor, who was new to me, and did a check-up, and chatted, and at the end he's talking about my next appointment in 3 months and how I should get a flu shot then. Then he starts talking about the new pneumonia vaccine, which is really great and protects you from pneumonia for life. I myself have never even come close